All my trophies, which are important to me?

So, we were making room for Ben's trophies, and then i noticed Nathan had several trophies in his closet and Tim has his pool trophies in our room...and i was thinking...what trophies are important?
Trophies for sports and accomplishments are amazing, but you can't take them with you.

I have a box of trophies from past accomplishments, and they are just shoved in a box in the attic, or already at the dump.
And i can't take them with me.
What if trophies were given out for good deeds?
What if trophies were given out for being kind?
What if trophies were given out for being a true Christian and spreading His Word?
Would everyone want them?
If God gave a BIG HUGE 1st Place trophy for every time someone was kind to a stranger? 
If Jesus handed a trophy to a person who witnessed in His name?
If Our Father handed out a plaque for stepping up when someone was being bullied, harassed or helping someone who was so down they were suicidal?
So, let's say God did, let's say Jesus had a trophy He was ready to hand out - - - how many trophies would i have?  Would i have a trophy for my character?  Would i have several trophies for being kind to others?   Would i have a plaque for reaching out to others when they are down and out?
The brass and silver on a shelf is nice, but a pat on the back from God goes a lot farther.
Actually, it goes so far....it goes all the way up to heaven.   Living by HIS example, living for HIM, and knowing that God is saying "Well done, good and faithful servant."
That is the only trophy i really need.
I love you. 

doing dishes...scrubbing bathrooms.....folding laundry

So, i was talking to several friends, and every time i asked "what are you doing?" the answer included chores...the laundry, the dishes, the toilets, the windows....and the list just went on.  As women, our life revolves around the house, the kids, the hubby, the job, the kids the dishes the laundry the billsthekidsthedishesthehubbythesheetsthevacuming....lalala.
And it all seems so THANKLESS.   and such a waste of time...because we can scrub the kitchen clean, but as soon as the kids get home, and dinner starts...it is trashed again.  And wow, you just want to SCREAM!
It's a "Hi, i feel unappreciated" moment.
The kids aren't going to say "thank you" every time they walk in the door and see the house done.  Or clean laundry on their bed.  Or you pack a lunch full of their favorites.  It just isn't going to happen. 
We can rebel, and not make dinner, or sort socks, or pack a nice lunch. 
And darling spouse isn't going to remember to hug and kiss you every time an amazing meal shows up on the table, or he has clean underwear as soon as he opens his drawer.  
We can stop doing it all....
And what does that solve?  
I admit, there are times, i just want to lose it.  I spend hours cleaning my house, it smells fantastic, looks amazing...and they come home.
And i wonder, did they even NOTICE!?!
After almost 30 years of parenting, i have had to accept the fact that the only one who truly appreciates all the work i do...is me.
while my family does appreciate being able to find things...and have underwear when they need it...and shampoo in the shower...and lunch in their lunchbox, they aren't going to appreciate it every day....they will years from now, when they are the ones doing the laundry, scrubbing or reaching into an empty underwear drawer, but today it is just something that is there and in their life.
And i am okay with that.  Because that means my kids are secure.  They are secure in the fact that mom will take care of them, make sure they have what they need when they need it.  And when i miss a step...or 10, they notice...and they yell "MOM! where are my socks?!?"  And usually, socks appear, flying across the house towards them.  And they sometimes even mutter "thanks" as they get ready for their happy day.
Right now, i get the satisfaction of seeing my house clean until everyone comes home.   And years from now, i know my kids will be thinking of me, when  their kids destroy their home, when the socks are missing, the dinner is on the stove and they and wondering if anyone notices all they have done that day.
And they might even call me and say "mom, i don't know how you did it all"
and i will smile.
I love you.

Photoshop Fails

Yesterday, while scrolling around on the computer, waiting for my next shift, i saw a headline "biggest photoshop fails" so i clicked to see what it was about.   And my heart cracked.
The site was full of people trying to "improve" their body, and failing miserably.   And i couldn't laugh, i just thought...jeepers, how sad.   Girls thinning their waistline, men making their abs stand out, or giving themselves bigger muscles, girls enhancing this and removing that....no one was happy with their body. 
No one was happy with their body.   How sad is that? 
Years ago, God gave me a message.  I was teaching bible study for middle schoolers and i was stunned with the nasty comments and the cutting down they were doing for each other.  So i prayed, and i prayed, asking for help on how to tell them that it was wrong, cutting people and teasing and hurting...was against HIS will.
And HE gave me a message, which i showed to my students the following sunday.
First, i drew a picture and if anyone has seen my drawings, you are currently laughing, because I can't draw to save my life.
And in class, i showed the kids my picture and told them i drew a self portrait, what did they think?  And they laughed.  They laughed out loud, pointing at my picture and just roaring.  So then, i said "Okay, but what are you laughing at?  This piece of paper?  Or are you laughing at me, because i drew the picture?"  They all agreed they were laughing at me and how bad an artist i am.  "Okay," i said.  "So when you are laughing and making fun of another person, are you laughing at them, or are you laughing at the artist, who drew that person?"  They said nothing.  "Because GOD drew each and every person on this earth.  He designed them, just the way He wanted them to be, with their red hair, or freckles, or long legs, or strange voice, or their hunchback.  HE drew them...and if you are laughing at them, picking on them, teasing them...you are making fun of GOD."  The room was completely silent.  "And how does that make you feel?" I finished.  Several of them admitted they felt horrible.  The following sunday, a few came up to me and told me they apologized to a classmate for their actions.

I wish that message could be shouted from the rooftops - GOD MADE YOU PERFECT!! 

I know how hard it is, God didn't make me the stunning beauty i wanted to be.  I was too heavy, too bland, freckles, straight boring hair...oh, and big feet.   Now, at the ripe old age of 50, i see that physical beauty doesn't matter to those who love me.  My true friends see me as a fun, pretty, loving person.  My husband says i am beautiful (i know i look AMAZING when he doesn't have his contacts in).  My children only see the love i have for them, and that makes me pretty in their eyes.

If i knew then what i know now...that those people in my life that mattered thought i was great, pretty and just fine.   Those who weren't meant to be in my life saw what they wanted to see and found me lacking...and their opinion shouldn't have mattered so much to me. 

To see kids photoshopping themselves to deformity, so sad.  All i can do is pray that someone reminds them that God made them PERFECT in HIS eyes....and i ain't going to argue with God. 

Guilty Conscience

Funny, isn't it?  When you walk into a room and people stop talking...and you are convinced they were talking about you.  Or someone posts something nasty on Facebook towards the world in general, and you are convinced it is directed at you.  Or you call someone, and they don't pick up the phone, and you know it is because they don't want to talk to you.  Or someone says "I need to talk to you." and you are convinced it is because you did something wrong?   Or someone barely talks to you, and you are convinced it is because they really don't like you, or that you did something to offend them.

That's me.  I always have the feeling i have done something to offend someone, or that they are angry at me, or that they are avoiding me, because they really don't like me.

Sometimes, it occurs to me...hey, the world doesn't revolve around me.  I am not so important that people are talking about me all the time.   Or that someone doesn't come up and talk to me because..gee, they might be going through something stressful and are distracted.   And that "Hey, i need to talk to you," just might be something good and they want to tell me all about it.

I sincerely stress myself out over what others may or may not think of me.  How stupid is that?  Should it bother me if someone thinks i don't fit their model of an ideal friend?  Or that that my body isn't good enough for them?  Or that they don't like my children?  Or that ..or that....or that....or that...my list can go on.

I am what God made me.  I can improve myself, i can do things to make my life better, BUT it is NOT my job to make my life perfect for someone else.   If someone doesn't like the way i laugh, or the type of books i read, or the way i look....oh well.  Then that person is not meant to be my friend.

And if people stop talking when i walk in the room...it can be because "DANG I LOOK GOOD!"   If someone doesn't answer the phone, it can be because they are working, or spending time with their kids, or lost their phone...all of which are the reason i don't answer the phone.

If someone posts something angry on facebook, oh hey, they have over 800 friends...chances are, it isn't about me.

I need to lighten up on myself.  I need to stop feeling guilty, or bad, or ashamed or ...whatever.  I am who i am.   i like me.

I love you.  
  

Be YOU, not who they want you to be.

School is starting again, and once again, the peer pressure will at times overwhelm you.  Kids will want to you do things you don't normally do, act like you don't normally act and change to meet their standards.   This is my advice to you, if someone wants you to change so much to meet their requirements, they are not your friends.  Friends accept you for who you are, they like you for your looks, actions, attitudes, hobbies, they like YOU.
You are made the way you are supposed to be.   It might be hard to find friends like you, but there are people like you.   People who are trying to fit in someone else's mold because they are desperate to be friends.  
Be who you are and show who you are.  If you like to play card games, bring them to the lunch table, someone is bound to say "Hey, you do that? So do i!"  If you like a certain tv show, wear a shirt or bring a book about it, someone who likes the same thing will notice and you can start a conversation.  My first good friends in high school wrote, like me.  Then i found friends who were into environmental quality, and i found this amazing group called SEQ - students for environmental quality, and we became friends.  If there isn't a club or program that matches your liking, talk to the school about starting one.
Don't be someone else, people love you for who you are.    I love you, and i am always here for you.